The Lehigh Valley LGBT Community Archive collects materials that document the contributions of LGBTQIA+ community members to the region. Since 2016, archivists have collected materials from regional LGBTQIA+ political organizations and leaders, publications, businesses like bars, and cultural events like Lehigh Valley Pride. In addition, archivists have begun to collect oral histories from LGBTQIA+ residents of the Lehigh Valley. These interviews give LGBTQIA+ community members the opportunity to share their life stories, including their experiences in the Lehigh Valley. This article explores the oral history of Sandy Mesics, a transgender woman who was born and raised in Bethlehem and went on to be an important advocate for transgender people in Pennsylvania and beyond.
Growing Up Without an LGBTQ+ Community
Mesics begins her oral history with a discussion of her early life. Born in Bethlehem in 1952, Mesics grew up in a Bethlehem Steel family. Her father worked at the steel mill and when Mesics was just twelve years old he passed away, an event that devastated her and her family. Her mother worked as a domestic worker for one of the “higher-ups” at the steel company, as Mesics remembers. The Bethlehem Steel community was a large part of Mesics’ childhood. She recalled that there were always other workers around to help her father in times of need. For example, when Mesics’ father was building their home, it was not surprising when his coworkers came around to help install the roof. Mesics emphasized how close knit the city was because of the steel community, yet she also explained that it was a conservative community. Even though gender and sexuality were not explicitly spoken about, Mescis found that there were expectations she had to fulfill because she was assigned male at birth. After her father’s death, she felt that she had to grow up quickly and help take care of her family, despite her young age. Although the community that Bethlehem Steel workers cultivated did not provide Mesics the exact support she needed regarding her gender identity, she still valued how steel families always showed up for one another in times of need.
Growing up, Mesics always felt a disconnection between herself and her assigned gender. Mesics recalled having questions about her gender as early as 4 years old. More specifically, she wondered when she would be able to “join the girls,” but because of the conservative nature of the local community, she was unable to make sense of these questions. In her teenage years, Mesics discovered books and tabloid magazines that detailed the experiences of transgender people. She finally realized that the questions she was having about her gender identity were questions that others shared. She learned that transgender people exist, and that she wasn’t the only one. Mesics remembers feeling saved by this representation, and continuously sought it out in secret. However, in Bethlehem, Mesics did not have any first hand experiences with other transgender people, and she recalled not having a full understanding of being transgender until she left the area. While Mesics felt represented in the books and tabloids she was reading, she did not feel represented or supported by the Bethlehem community and this prompted her to hide her identity until she pursued a college degree at Penn State in the early 1970s. Mesics’ early experiences growing up in Bethlehem serve to highlight the importance of representation and support for LGBTQIA+ youth as they come to understand their identities.
Moving Away & Creating LGBTQIA+ Community with Image Magazine
In the second part of her oral history, Mesics discusses her life after moving away from Bethlehem. She began by detailing her college experience at Penn State, where she majored in psychology. Mesics attended Penn State during the Vietnam War, but because of her enrollment at the university she was able to avoid the draft. The Penn State campus was thrumming with anti-war protests and young activists, and, although she was able to avoid the war itself, she did not shy away from the anti-war protests. Mesics regularly participated in the on-campus protests. By getting involved in the anti-war movement through student protests, Mesics became a part of the Penn State community.
More personally, Mesics recalls her experience at Penn State as being both liberating and difficult because she was finally able to truly understand her gender identity, but she did not have the space to practice it. While in college, Mesics recalls her gender dysphoria reaching an all-time-high. Gender dysphoria occurs when a person’s gender identity does not match their gender assigned at birth. In the early 1970s, it was extremely difficult to find support from a medical profession for gender dysphoria, but Mesics was able to find a doctor based in Philadelphia. Despite the far distance between Philadelphia and the Penn State Campus, Mesics was able to routinely visit him and was put on hormonal medication. The hormones allowed Mesics body to begin aligning with her gender identity, providing a great sense of relief and comfort.
After graduating from Penn State, Mesics decided to move to Philadelphia to be closer to her doctor and to be able to continue her medical transition. Mesics recalls knowing that moving back to the Lehigh Valley was not an option for her because of the lack of LGBTQIA+ community there. Finding a community in Philadelphia proved easier than it did at Penn State and the Lehigh Valley, yet there were still obstacles in place that made it difficult for Mesics and her friends to thrive. In the late 1970s and early 1980s, it was dangerous to be transgender, and many were often arrested for it. Despite this danger, Mesics jumped into the community, and devoted herself to the cultivation of it. She did this by starting Image Magazine, a quarterly publication that focused on trans people and trans activism through its inclusion of self-help articles, erotic fiction, and photography. The magazine gained much more recognition than she ever anticipated. She received an outpouring of support and letters from other trans individuals who felt represented by the magazine. Through Image Magazine, Mesics provided representation to trans people that she sought in her own adolescence, and helped build a trans community in Philadelphia and beyond.
During this period of her life, Mesics began to plan for gender-affirming surgery, yet she emphasized that her family still did not know about her transition. Mesics’ explained that her mother was always accepting of her; however, she was still afraid to come out to her. She had a plan to tell her mom about her transition right before her surgery. Two weeks before the surgery, Mesics fell ill with Hepatitis B, which forced her to stop taking hormones for a year while she was in recovery. During this time, Mesics went back to the Lehigh Valley and stayed with her mother and the two grew closer than ever. Over the course of her year in recovery Mesics and her mother finally had discussions about her gender identity and upcoming surgery, which her mother supported wholeheartedly. Despite the lack of LGBTQIA+ community in Bethlehem in Mesics’ adolescence, her mother supported her transition. When Mesics recovered from Hepatitis B, she scheduled her surgery again, this time with the comfort of familial support and community support in Philadelphia.
Mesics continued her involvement with Image Magazine and the local trans community for quite some time, but after years of dedication and hard work she was mentally exhausted. She often received letters from struggling trans people who read her magazine, which spurred her to offer emotional support and advice to them. These letters were often difficult for Mesics to read because she related to them, and also because she knew there were members of her community that were struggling. These emotional letters took a toll on Mesics. Because of this she decided to take a step back from the magazine and move to Miami, where she discovered a new passion for nursing and completed her degree in this new field. Mesics loved helping others, and nursing provided her the space to do so without draining herself emotionally in the process.
Returning to the Lehigh Valley
To conclude her interview, Mesics discussed her return to the Lehigh Valley in 2000. She decided to return in order to care for her ailing mother. Mesics described her relationship with her mother as wonderful, so when her mother began declining she knew she needed to be with her.
After decades away from the area, it was clear that it had progressively evolved. Reflecting back on her return to Bethlehem, Mesics remembered feeling pleasantly surprised by how culturally rich and intellectually stimulating the city had become. She was no longer afraid to live publicly as a trans woman because of new LGBTQIA+ support groups and centers such as Lehigh Valley Renaissance, Eastern PA Trans Equity Project, and the Bradbury-Sullivan LGBT Community Center, organizations that are dedicated to protecting and improving the lives of LGBTQIA+ people in the Lehigh Valley. While the LGBTQIA+ community in the Lehigh Valley provides hope for LGBTQIA+ individuals like Mesics, the current political climate in the United States leads her to worry. In Mesics’ oral history interview, she referenced the fragile life of Roe v. Wade, which protected abortion rights and bodily autonomy, and how she feared for its overturn, which did occur in 2022. Despite these fears, Mesics refers to herself as an eternal optimist, believing that “we will prevail” despite legislative setbacks.
Mesics’ experience as a trans woman growing up in the Lehigh Valley without access to affirming community serves to emphasize how necessary community is for the emotional and physical well-being of LGBTQIA+ individuals. Without an established, supportive community, LGBTQIA+ individuals risk growing up confused about or ashamed of their identities. Mesics, like many others, felt like she had to hide who she was in order to feel safe. She was only able to come out comfortably with the stable support of a community. The importance of the LGBTQIA+ community, representative media and literature, as well as accessible resources shine in Mesics’ story. Mesics likewise is an example of a transgender leader who actively contributed to creating an affirming community for LGBTQIA+ people in Eastern Pennsylvania through her work in publishing and healthcare.
To listen and watch Mesics’ oral history interview, visit the Lehigh Valley LGBT Community Archive.
