“What have you lost?” Performance:
“What have you lost?” Lyrics:
“What have you lost” is not a question i ask myself on a daily basis because asking that question would force me to confront some things placing me within the context of a world aflame its quarantine anyways “What have you lost” is not a question i ask myself on a daily basis best friend catching bullshit cases because of some racist cops who wanna make themselves feel powerful use their social capital to stomp on souls “What have you lost” graduation? for one two the ability to grieve the fact my college graduation as a afro latinx got demoted to a footnote suddenly so unimportant in the grand scheme of things this country is on fire greed is driving us into extinction we should all know that margins are supposed to be the first to go it seems like we are a lost generation supposed to do it all but we fresh outta college the job market is trash we need the cash but nobody is hiring Struggling Steady suffocating in debt while the rich kids get to treat this pandemic like a vacation we are trapped in the position of subordination essentially surviving by any means necessary the essential workers unspoken the invisible backbone of this “nation” forced to compromise their safety so others can thrive and stockpile daily essentials What have you lost when social media feeds are suddenly flooded with black screens and everybody around me eager to pity me like its trick or treat on halloween and we are stuck in the convict costumes white supremacy placed us in minstrelsy and performance the foundation of their perception covid got the world still in some ways and the world still thinks black life so dismissible dispensable This is not the first time nor the last time Black death is so visible visually accessible On trees telephones and telescreens george Floyd’s death had everyone wanting to jump on the bandwagon of black lives mattering only for clout tho Just to ensure that you know they’re not like the other white people their parents may have made a lot of money but can’t you still see they are not racist? but lets face it the truth of the matter is none of this shit is brand new activism never been marketable “You should learn how to put that shit on your resume, Don’t you say?” but i lost the fucks i gave and patience i had for neutrality nowadays i just pray and meditate to stay conscious Cause this fake social support is taunting very daunting but don’t worry i lost my trust in amerikkka a long time ago took note that this falsified dream was never meant for me this aint new you just aint knew and this time and space just exposed the face of white supremacy in such a way we living a cultural trauma what have i lost? my breathe we trying to say black lives matter but its hard to catch our breathe shallow lungs steady drowning in white tears that dehydrate while i contemplate How to turn a couple Ls in Ws no troubleshoot only clear views on how embody the light of the constellations north star high in the sky as we struggle for a special kind of liberation
About Kevelis Matthews-Alvarado:
I’m a black first generation college graduate, daughter of a Venezuelan immigrant and decedent of enslaved Africans. Currently, I am pursuing my Masters degree in English at Lehigh University. I see my scholarship as intrinsically connected to my work as a poet, artist, creator, and activist. All the work regardless of form or medium is ultimately tied to the interrogation of systems of power and the radical imagination of possible liberation. I wrote “What have I lost” as a response to prompt in my modernism class… and I think it embodies my current state of mind as a poet, scholar, and person. This poem captures a moment for me so thank you for listening to this story…
